Wednesday, January 30, 2013
My Journey Into Drug Addiction Treatment
By the time I was sixteen years old, I was regularly partaking of many different drugs, some of which I was actually addicted to. The others, well, those were just for fun. I didn't think I needed drug rehab treatment- I was having the time of my life. I had plenty of friends (all using, of course) and in all of our conversations about our habits, not a single person ever mentioned a drug rehab center as if it were a good place to go. I just knew that they wouldn't understand a person like me at a drug rehab program- I had reasons for using and I didn't want anybody to take away my habits. My use was more than just a coping mechanism for me, it was a way of creating a world within and around myself that I wanted to live in- a version of reality that I wasn't about to have taken away from me by some addiction treatment center.
At the age of twenty, I knew something had to change. Drug rehab treatment still wasn't really part of the picture for me, but I knew that I would someday have to create a different reality for myself, one that was more in keeping with the one that everyone else around me was living in. My inability to take part in the real world was something that troubled me from time to time. As all of my friends grew up and joined into society as adults, I found that I was being left behind to some degree. The thing that finally changed my mind about getting substance abuse treatment was an incident at a friend's wedding. There, I ran into many of my old friends who once used and while they talked about their fancy new lives, I got so intoxicated that I passed out at the reception.
After the embarrassment of passing out, something I'd never done in such an inappropriate public setting, I knew that I needed to get my life on track. I felt envious of my friends and the lives that they seemed to have put together for themselves. It was something I had never done for myself, at least not in a way I would be proud to tell others about. I knew that I had to deal with whatever issues where behind my need to escape reality and go ahead and embrace life sober, for everything that it can be. The number of people walking around sober and doing just fine told me that it was possible, if one had the tools.
I checked myself into a treatment program and let me tell you, the first weeks were pretty intense...and by intense, I mean ugly and hellish. Every little demon inside me reared its nasty little head and let me know exactly what it was all about. After a few weeks of getting all the remaining drugs out of my system and dealing with the immediate psychological fallout, I starting to experience clarity for the first time since I was a child. It was a new experience, and one that was very heartening- I knew that I would come out alright if I could just keep an eye towards clarity. Seeing the world clearly helps me to live in it more successfully.
Written by Melissa Bryson.
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